It’s common to hear people advise us to “be content with our singleness,” but is it really that easy? After a failed relationship, I realized how much I truly desired to get married. While I thought I was content with being single, I wasn’t. I came to understand that even though I prefer marriage over singleness, there are more important things in life than just getting married. I can’t always control the circumstances surrounding my relationships, so I cannot afford to make marriage an idol in my life. Disappointments will happen, but I have a life to live, and I need to move forward. I also know that one day when I am called heaven-ward, I will have to give account for my life, so I want to have something other than being single to talk about with friends.
So, here are three steps that can help on the journey to being content with singleness:
1. Admit your desires: Acknowledge that you do want to get married and that being single isn’t ideal. Don’t pretend that you don’t mind being single because God made you and created these desires within you. It doesn’t make you less spiritual or holy to want marriage.
2. Surrender to God: God already knows your desires, but voice them out to Him. Choose to trust Him with your singleness, even daily if needed. Whenever feelings of loneliness arise, give those feelings to God and trust that He has your best interests at heart.
3. Live life: Don’t just wait for marriage to happen. Instead, enjoy your job, family, church, and friendships. Pursue hobbies and interests, experience new things, and step out of your comfort zone. Don’t put your life on hold. Your singleness is the perfect time to focus on personal growth and development, which can improve self-esteem and make you a more attractive partner in the future.
Following these steps, you will find that being single has its own perks. And when that special someone does come along, you’ll have an interesting life to introduce them to.